A Better Day

Well, today is a better day.  It’s so easy to get discouraged and let the negative pervade your thinking.  I wish it were the other way around – that the negative had to fight hard to break through!  I know I’m not unusual in that in anyway and everyone has times when they feel blue and discouraged.  And sometimes I think you have to let yourself feel it to get past it…and so here I am, on the other side.
Last night, we went to a seminar about creation from Answers in Genesis.  For the most part, it wasn’t anything I hadn’t heard before (and certainly nothing I didn’t believe already) but I thought the speaker was excellent. He used some great examples to keep people’s attention and explain things.  The workshop continues through the weekend…I had originally had plans for tomorrow but they were rescheduled so I may pop in and take in some of his lesson on astronomy and the Big Bang theory.  We shall see.
Tonight we’re off to a hockey game…I’ve never been to one and I guess as hockey goes this is the minor leagues.  I think it will be fun, though.  And there is a concert afterwards – so that’s always good.  I had hoped more of our youth would go but I think we are reaching a point where they would rather spend their cash (and their Friday nights!)  elsewhere.  Oh well; we’ll keep trying.

This Week’s Theme Song

Still Life by Bryan White

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up
Oh I wish I may, and I wish with all my might
For the love I’m dremaing of
And missing in my life

You’d think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time to people that I know
Their wishes all come true
So I’ve got to believe
That there’s still someone out there who
Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishing on someone else’s star
Seems like someone else
Keeps getting what I’m wishing for
Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are
I guess I must be wishing on someone else’s star

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
And I can’t give my heart
One good reason why
Everywhere I look
It’s lovers that I see
Seems like everyone’s in love
With everyone but me

(Repeat Chorus)

Why can’t I be as lucky as those other people are
Oh I guess I must be wishing
On someone else’s star

The Streak

Well, my marathon dateless streak has finally come to an end. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be and I managed to make it through the evening without spilling anything on myself (or him) or saying anything really ridiculous…so I guess that’s good. Right now, it doesn’t really look like anything will come of this but I guess you never know. If nothing else, at least now I know I can handle myself on a date. I was really beginning to think I wouldn’t even know how to behave!

Claim to Fame

My claim to fame today is that I am tied for dead last in our company NCAA pool.  As the co-loser, I get $2.50 back.  Had I been lucky enough to be the ONLY loser, I would have gotten my whole five bucks back.

The Dream Dinners Experiment

…is working out marvelously!!  It is so nice to have real meals ready and waiting for me when I come home.  Last week was exceptionally challenging in terms of my schedule – I had something every single night.  But I made three of the dinners ahead of time and was able to try different ones each day for lunch and dinner with no fuss.  So far I’ve had cashew chicken, salisbury steak, mandarin sesame tilapia and bombay chicken.  On the docket for this week is the polynesian flank steak, lemon chicken piccata and chicken enchiladas. 
The other benefit is that I have greatly cut down on my grocery bills.  All I bought last week was staples and sides (veggies/rice) and only spent about $25 total!!! 
I know these are popping up all over, under various names, but from what I’ve seen Dream Dinners has the best variety.  I highly recommend trying it!

My Peeps

I just got home from a wonderful dinner with my peeps from my old job. I love them so much! I can’t get over how blessed I am to have these people and all of my other friends in my life.

Things are getting a little better at the new job in terms of getting to know people and such but I know that no one can ever replace this crew. I don’t miss the job but I do truly miss them. We had a lot of fun tonight catching up but the most exciting part was hearing that Kristin got engaged!! When she came in and showed me the ring, I was so thrilled for them – I felt like the joy was just bubbling over. I knew that they would eventually get engaged and there had been a couple of times I thought might be the day – I remember coming into work one particular weekend (not remembering now when or what the significance was) but immediately going to her office to sneak a peek at her hand. I was glad too that everyone kept it a secret from me until tonight so she was able to tell me herself. It made my day and I am just so happy for them.

It was great to see the whole gang, and I have Tommy to thank for organizing it! I hope that we can do it again soon…it’s so important to me that I don’t lose touch with everyone. Love you guys!

My Secret Shame

This is my spare room/office.

When life gets crazy, this is the area that suffers. I try to keep some semblance of order in the rest of the house (especially with having home group here on Mondays) but then this room becomes the stuff repository. I just can’t function in this mess!! I’m hoping that by posting this madness here, it will shame me into cleaning it up and keeping it organized.

And the Grinch’s Heart Grew TWO Sizes That Day

This afternoon, my friend Michelle’s daughter performed in a color guard competition at a high school near my hometown. I told Michelle I’d like to go to that one and we’d make a day of it and visit my mom on the way…and that is what we did.

Although I had tried color guard in high school and was familiar with it all, I didn’t really know what to expect. But the effort these kids put into their performances was simply amazing. I actually teared up when the first color guard performed and one of the girls caught a sword she had thrown up in the air – you could just see the joy on her face and know that it had been something she had struggled with and had finally succeeded in doing.

When Sarah’s group came on, I felt the same way. I was so proud of her and of her guard group. Their competition show was so well choreographed and so well put together. I know how hard the girls work on this – they practice twice a week at night for several hours and then all day Saturdays when they aren’t competing. Their work and performance mean so much to them and they truly put their hearts and souls into it–and you can see it in every move. I was completely overwhelmed with pride!!! Go, Lady Knights!!!!


First of all, I want you to know I did indeed realize it was Friday when I woke up and I made it into work! On time, even.
My post yesterday mentioned that I have fibromyalgia and I realized afterwards that not everyone probably knows what it is or how it affects people…so here’s the low down.
Imagine you have the flu.  Your body aches to an extreme, you’re exhausted, you feel like you couldn’t get up to save yourself if the house was on fire.  That’s what fibro can feels like.  That can be accompanied by headaches, IBS, muscle twitching, numbness, brain “fog” and memory problems, urinary issues, sleep disturbances and other things as well. 
Some people suffer all the time;  others deal with flare ups like mine.  it would be safe to say there is never a day when I am not fatigued or feeling muscle or joint pain but I have learned to take that as a part of life.  It’s basically my “normal” until I have a flare up and things get much worse. 
For a long time, the medical community didn’t recognize fibromyalgia as a disease and some doctors still don’t.  They think it’s a stress response or depression or who knows what.  I’ve had doctors who recognized it and accepted it and doctors who completely blew it off.
They also aren’t sure what causes it.  One thing could be related to something called substance P in your body which decides how your body feels pain.  Others say it has something to do with the neuroendocrine system, nervous system or a virus.  I’ve also read and heard that it can be triggered afer a traumatic event (physical, like an accident or major surgery or emotional like something that would cause post-traumatic stress).
And they aren’t sure how to treat it.  I try to manage mine the best I can with anti-inflammatories because I don’t want to depend on any of the other drugs they suggest (steriods, anti-depressants, etc).  They believe that your diet can affect it as well – saying to cut down on alcohol, caffeine, sugar & carbs.  A regular sleep schedule (because part of it may also relate to never getting into real REM sleep) is also recommended.
Most of the time, I can manage the pain and the fatigue.  I have a tendency to overdo things – often – but am getting better at knowing my limits.  A little bit, anyway.  It’s hard for me to admit that I struggle with this so most of the time I just act like it’s not happening.  When I was first diagnosed, I found some online support groups but came away feeling very depressed and discouraged.  Many people with fibro are on disability, some can’t even get out of bed some days.  I hope and pray that I don’t reach that point but I can definitely understand how it can come to that.  Hopefully it never will for me.  I just keep on going and make my way through…thinking that this too shall pass. 

I Keep Thinking…

…it’s Friday. Hopefully, I will remember to get up and go to work tomorrow and not laze around in bed like it’s Saturday.

Actually, tomorrow is my first Dream Dinners session. I am so looking forward to it. I tried to make some meals ahead this week and made the mistake of buying one of those meals in a box – just add chicken. I tried one I’ve never had and…blecch. I ended up throwing all of it out. So again, I fell back into my routine of eating whatever I could scavenge. I hope this works out the way I think it will.

Otherwise, the week has been pretty uneventful. I’ve been fighting a flare up of fibromyalgia…crummy stuff! I really had no energy and was in a lot of pain most of the week. It also disrupts my sleep, so it ends up being a vicious cycle. This afternoon I got a burst of energy and felt somewhat “normal” so I ran a bunch of errands on my way home and started doing stuff around the house as soon as I walked in. But now I seem to be headed back to where I started. I don’t know if I overdid it (who, me?) or if the weather is going to change again. That is the one thing that most affects the fibro – I can definitely tell when the seasons are changing. Fall is my favorite time of year but man, do I feel cruddy. I was trying to think the other day if spring is worse than fall. I tend to think it is, but I may say fall is worse than spring when it rolls around.

So now, here I am, things half finished (and some not even started), feeling like I just want to crawl in bed. I’ve got to at least finish some wash or I’ll be wearing pajamas to work – which I think they MIGHT frown upon….