I had an interview this week for my local CASA. It was somewhat startling, even to me, when I heard myself say that the two year commitment they request would be no problem, as I was not going anywhere. Even at my most stable time before moving to Virginia, I think that question would have caused me pause.
But now, I’m unpacked. My photos and artwork adorn the walls; knick knacks and souvenirs are scattered throughout. I have my new driver’s license and the last pieces to be completed, title and new tags, are somewhat underway.
Yet the mentality of not only my loved ones but also me, somewhat, is of wanting to grab hold of every last moment – to squeeze out every vestige of fun in the time we have together. I’ve reminded a few (and myself, if I’m honest) that I live here now. We can be in the moment, knowing well that there will be more.
Yet as I write that, I wonder. I have several friends dealing with the sudden and unexpected loss of loved ones right now and still others trying to reconcile terrible, possibly terminal, illnesses of theirs. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Not for anyone. How do we reconcile these two things in our lives? I don’t clearly know the answer but I’ll go with this for now:
Never leave anything unspoken. I don’t want a single soul I love to leave this life or mine unsure of how grateful I am for them in my life, for all they do, for all the joy they have brought to me by being a part of it all.