I blogged for 31 days and then fell off the face of the earth…or so it must seem.

I have a penchant for more prolific writing (and reading) when things are going well than when I’m struggling.  I realize this, of course, is the opposite of how things should be but as a friend reminded me this weekend, “You’re really good at pretending things are normal.”

On one hand, that statement made me feel a little burst of pride, primarily because it’s true.  But then I realized that that is exactly what I’ve been working hard over the past several months to overcome.  I’ve grown weary of the smoothing over, the unruffling of feathers, the defusing of tempers.  A “proverb” of sorts has become my mantra, in the days I can stand up and not fall back into my well-ingrained patterns:

I recently attended a seminar at work about partnering with your boss.  The overall gist is simply that you can fight and whine and moan and complain about how someone in leadership does things…or you can change.  Certainly, you can’t change them.  It’s the same with people-pleasing, with creating this illusion of normalcy – it doesn’t change anything. And if you want to see change, the only steps you can take are your own.