I’m all about being undignified these days…

And I am trying to:

-finish the alphabet!
-keep up with my Bible study, “No Other Gods”. It’s really good – I’m just constantly behind after Creation, workcamp and trying to get back to “real” life
-reorganize my house
-keep up with the housework
-work with the vet to reduce or eliminate Ramona’s need for insulin
-reconnect with old friends
-stay connected to current friends
-find a new place to spend 40 hours a week
-get up the courage to get an MRI on my knee
-get back on track with my nutrition plan
-do meal planning each week
-keep up with the neverending pile of wash
-finish “Searching for God Knows What” by Donald Miller
-decide what to do about women’s Bible study for the fall
-start a Bible study for young adults
-figure out where we are headed with youth
-decide what I want to do about some other issues that are weighing on me (how’s that for vague!? You love me anyway!)
-go to bed early tonight, since I was up last night with hungry, annoying cats (yes, part of the new plan to get off insulin. Tonight there will be sleeping – no matter what I have to do to get it!)

I was planning to write about my summer so far – Creation festival, workcamp, and all the stuff in between. But really, what I am coming back to is what is really going on in my heart and my spirit.

I have been struggling with a bunch of things as of late – my job situation (including a potential/pending layoff), my call to ministry, where I should be, what I should be doing, and so many other things. My attitude has been bad, frankly, and my anxiety level has been through the roof. Two of my dearest friends moving two hours away didn’t help this, either. It seemed as though everything was crashing down around me. But in the midst of it, there was a little stirring in my soul, a need for something to take me back to where I once was and give me the sense of peace and connectedness I had when I first came to faith.

And so, when I was at Creation I prayed for the Lord to give me a word. I know some of you who are reading this won’t understand what I mean by that or may think that I’m nuts. But I believe God still talks to people – not necessarily the burning bush kind of thing or even an audible voice – but through people, circumstances and events. And Creation was an excellent place for me to open myself up and listen and to hear what he wanted me to hear. I separated myself from everything else going on and just sat and soaked up the music and the teaching. I can’t tell you how thankful I am for that time…now I just have to find out how to translate what I learned and heard, what spoke to my heart, to my spirit, into my everyday life…