I’m addicted to blogging.

Is there a support group for this?

I just logged on quickly to check my email and make sure that no prayer requests had some in for our church list (I send them out to the email chain). And now here I sit…first surfing the net; now blogging.

Today I had a Tastefully Simple party. It was a blast. Besides the fact that the entire home show is about food and you eat your way through it, I had a lot of friends turn out. My mom even came, which really made me happy! It was so nice to get everyone together for a few hours. I wish I could find a way to do that more often but in reality, as much as I love to entertain, it really wears me out.

I’m getting a new sofa on Tuesday (isn’t it lovely??)

So tomorrow after church, David & Michelle are coming over to help me rearrange things. I keep looking at my small, rectangular living room and wondering what in the world I’ll do…I really want a second sofa because I don’t have a lot of seating – comfortable or otherwise – in my living room at the moment. But now I am apprehensive about whether I made the right decision or not. I always do this!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh. I wish I could just make decisions and be comfortable with them. Instead, I always second guess myself. It’s maddening.

Oh well, enough of that. I am off to bed. Hopefully, I will get some down time tomorrow to relax and recharge. I’ve got a couple books I want to get to desperately.

I’ve seen this before on other blogs and thought it was really neat. So here are 100 things about me…I’ll try to stay with the obscure; some you may know and some you may not!

1. I wear a size 8 1/2 shoe.
2. I only like Nike sneakers.
3. I used to only wear Tretorn sneakers.
4. For many years, I scorned socks. And I do mean scorned.
5. I had scoliosis very badly when I was a kid.
6. I have a rod in my spine that straightened that out.
7. I was 5’8″ before the surgery and was 5’10” after.
8. I wear contacts.
9. I used to wear glasses because my eye dr thought I was too much of a scaredy cat to stick my finger in my eye.
10. My natural haircolor is totally grey and has been for a long time.
11. My grandmother turned grey in her teens.
12. I love mexican food.
13. My first dog was a Belgian Sheepdog named Prince. He was an absolute angel. I loved him so much. And he put up with everything from me!
14. I used to try to brush Prince’s teeth.
15. And swing him on the swingset.
16. I would also bury him in the sandbox (and my mom thanks me for his ear infections!)
17. I once asked my mom why our neighbor was dressed like a penguin. She was a nun. And in earshot. And didn’t like that one bit. But I was like two or three. Gimme a break.
18. In our first house, there was a mean old man who lived next door. There were wild strawberries that grew along the fence between our yards. One day I tried to pick one and he sprayed me with the hose.
19. I hit an old lady while riding my bike once.
20. I never rode my bike again.
21. I had chicken pox when I was five.
22. I once wore gold high heel shoes to school.
23. I never wear a heel higher than 1 1/2” inches now. It makes me feel too tall.
24. I used to hate being tall.
25. My best job ever was working at Dorney Park.
26. I did makeup for my senior production of “The King & I”.
27. I was an AIDS Peer Counselor at college.
28. I was also an orientation leader.
29. And President of Student Government my senior year.
30. I was founding sister of a national service sorority (Gamma Sigma Sigma).
31. I have a bachelor’s degree in Journalism with a concentration in Public Relations.
32. I have a dual master’s degree in Health Administration and Health Education.
33. I can’t swim.
34. I can’t drive a stick shift. I learned on one and then swore never to drive one again.
35. I love John Cusack movies.
36. I love all kinds of music…even country.
37. I like Nascar.
38. My birthstone is amethyst.
39. My favorite actresses are Julie Roberts and Goldie Hawn.
40. My favorite actors are John Cusack, George Clooney and Nicolas Cage.
41. My favorite tv shows are 7th Heaven and Grey’s Anatomy.
42. I don’t like reality tv.
43. I grew up as a Philadelphia Eagles fan and then for many years was a Dallas Cowboys fan. Fair weather fan that I am, I came back to the Eagles a few years ago.
44. I have three cats.
45. I find driving relaxing.
46. I love to read.
47. One of my favorite books of all time is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn.
48. I like mysteries by Patricia Cornwell and Jonathan Kellerman.
49. I like chick lit.
50. I read a lot of self help nonfiction.
51. My favorite books of the Bible are Ruth and Isaiah.
52. My favorite boys’ names are Aidan, Isaiah, Nicholas and Jack.
53. My favorite girls’ names are Grace, Lily, Olivia and Anne.
54. I like it when animals have people names.
55. I once dated a guy from Scotland.
56. When I was in third grade, I made up a boyfriend to show off. When pressed, I said he moved to Australia.
57. I had a goldfish that lived for 16 years.
58. I like rain.
59. I don’t like to be cold.
60. I saw Donny Osmond in a hotel lobby in Tampa.
61. I met Dr. Ruth at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale.
62. I saw Aretha Franklin in a deli in NYC.
63. I love Jeffrey Gaines. We went to see him once and when we were entering the venue, he came in at the same time. My boyfriend held the door for him. He said hi and I couldn’t say anything. My boyfriend just said, “hey man”.
64. Two of my all time favorite songs are Jeffrey Gaines’ covers of “In Your Eyes” and “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face”.
65. When I get married, I want “Some Kind of Wonderful” by Grand Funk Railroad and “At Last” by Etta James to be played.
66. My two favorite cities are San Francisco and Washington, DC.
67. My favorite color is orange. As orange is not complementary in many ways, my second favorite color is red.
68. My eyes aren’t really brown. They are brown with green around the outside.
69. But I love the song “Brown Eyed Girl” anyway.
70. I love Greek food.
71. I’ll even eat lamb at a Greek restaurant. Otherwise, I don’t really – I feel bad about it.
72. I don’t eat veal for the same reason.
73. I don’t mind eating chicken or pork.
74. I love chocolate (did that even need to be said?!?)
75. I could eat ice cream all day, every day.
76. My favorite ice creams are chocolate chip mint, chocolate peanut butter and chocolate marshmallow.
77. In specialty ice creams, I like Edy’s ice cream sandwich ice cream and Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby, Phish Food and Marsha Marsha Marshmallow.
78. I visited the Ben & Jerry’s factory once. I took pictures of their cows, like I had never seen cows before.
79. I still sleep with a teddy bear.
80. I love to visit lighthouses.
81. My favorite lighthouses are Cape Neddick and Portland Head, both in Maine.
82. I would like to live in Maine some day.
83. I love anything fleece – tops, pants, blankets.
84. My birthday is my favorite day of the year.
85. I was going to get a tattoo once until I saw my friend do it first.
86. I don’t like pain and I certainly won’t pay for it.
87. I had a radio show in college.
88. I once set my jeans on fire in a bowling alley, on purpose (yes, I was wearing them at the time).
89. I’ve never broken a bone.
90. I like to entertain but don’t do it often.
91. I am developing a scrapbooking addiction.
92. Cinco de Mayo is my favorite holiday.
93. I won a second place award from the Morning Call newspaper for editorial writing in their Student Newspaper Advisory Program. The article was called, “The school, the school, the school is on fire…”
94. I didn’t keep any of my old newspaper articles from high school and I regret that now.
95. I started out writing sports for the high school paper – and knew NOTHING about sports.
96. I eventually ended up being co-editor-in-chief of that same paper my senior year.
97. I thought they were teasing me when they told me a zamboni machine cleaned the ice at hockey games. I was convinced they made that up.
98. I should never be allowed to drink Jolt cola.
99. I have panic attacks on really high escalators
100. I am terrible at math

So there you have it! 100 things about moi.

Only a little bit of ice here (on my sidewalk, of course!) But enough to warrant a two hour delay into work and leaving a couple minutes early to come home. I’ll take it!!

I keep thinking today is Friday. Every email I typed today, I started to close with “have a nice weekend” and then would be shocked to realize it’s only Thursday. Sigh.

On another note, I have some interesting news to report. My previous employer called this week to offer me my job back! I was completely shocked. When I gave my notice, no one really seemed to have much of a reaction (except my immediate supervisor, who I believe genuinely wanted me to stay) and no counter offer was made. I wouldn’t have stayed if there had been but I might have at least considered it if it was the offer brought to me this week. I struggled a great deal over this. I just didn’t know what to do. Besides the loneliness factor, I do enjoy my new job. I’m learning new things that will help me down the road in my career and I am always busy. The people are nice. The atmosphere is casual, which I enjoy immensely (yay, jeans!) But the thought of returning to my pals and going back to something old and familiar was somewhat appealing. I prayed about it and I know a lot of people were praying for me about this decision. Each time though, I just kept feeling like something wasn’t right. Besides feeling like I had made a commitment to my current employer and not wanting to break that, I just felt ill at ease with the whole situation. It took me most of the morning to get up my guts to call back and decline but when I did, I felt like a weight was lifted. I know she understood my decision and accepts it and I genuinely appreciate that the offer was made. It really made me feel like my contribution there was appreciated…even if it was after the fact. I hope that I can do as good a job in my new position! : )

Believe it or not, I am actually hoping to awaken to find snow and ice on the ground as they are predicting. I am in desperate need of some extra sleep this week and have a million things that need my attention right now that I can’t get done while juggling work and other commitments.

Thankfully, there will be no guessing and wondering if I should try to make it in to work; my office is near a high school and if that school district is closed or delayed, so are we. It makes things so much easier that way. I was always so stressed trying to get to work in bad weather at my old job, never knowing what the roads were like in that area. And I know that even if it’s not bad down there but is bad up here, no one will fault me for staying home tomorrow.

Come on, snow & ice!!! (Yes, I may have lost my mind. It’s really quite possible.)

I was looking up some creative writing prompts and thought the following was interesting:

Make a list of five ways you’ve changed in the last five years. What changes do you wish to make in the next five years?

Five ways I’ve changed in the last five years…hmmm. It’s not as easy as it sounds but I will give it a try.

1. I believe I have matured in my faith. I have learned a great deal over the past several years; by this I mean gaining Bible knowledge but also about the Lord and my relationship with him. I understand now that he doesn’t always answer prayer when we want him to or in the way we want him to but that things do truly work together for the good of those who love him. I have seen this in action and believe it with all my heart. I understand the importance of spiritual disciplines and studying the Word so that verses will be stored up in you when you are in need of them.

2. I have come to appreciate the importance of family more, both of my blood relatives and also my family of friends I’ve created. I always knew these people were important but that has taken on a new & deeper meaning in the last few years.

3. I’ve gotten slightly better with managing my finances. Not great, but better!

4. I’ve become somewhat more organized in my home and tried to eliminate some of the clutter.

5. I’ve become more patient. I know some of you would disagree but in general, this is something I’ve worked on for a while. I was always the queen of instant gratification but in waiting to find my home and my new job, I’ve learned that patience really does pay off.

The changes I want to make in the next five years are easier…we all have resolutions and goals!

1. I want to focus more on making time for the things I enjoy rather than simply doing things I feel I must all the time. It’s easy to put off fun for things you “have” to do but lately I am really feeling that the fun component has been missing in my life. I need it back!

2. The old standby: I want to lose weight and get in better shape physically. There are many reasons/excuses I make constantly for not focusing on this but given recent family history, it’s a change I must make before it’s too late.

3. I want to improve my financial management skills. I said that that was something that had changed/improved over the last five years but boy, do I have a ways to go.

4. I want to eliminate unnecessary clutter in my life. I want it out of my house! I am a big believer in everything having a place and often start out very well in that regard but drift. I want to be organized and maintain that. I know there are some changes I can make in my life towards that and hope to find time to work on that. It sounds silly but it’s important to me.

5. I want to continue to grow in my faith and find new and better ways to serve the children I work with. I know that is a broad statement but it is something I feel very strongly about, especially given the issues going on in our church as of late. I need to let God work on me and in me more, to help me grow in the fruits of the spirit. Which takes us back to patience…(well, really, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness & self-control…)

Very interesting exercise. Give it a try. You might find out something about yourself.

I thought this was a neat trip down memory lane, so I borrowed it. Thanks, Ginger!

HS Graduation Year: 1989

1. Who was your best friend?
Faith

2. What sports did you play?
None

3. What kind of car did you drive?
Toyota Corolla, can’t remember the year. It was blue.

4. It’s Friday night, where were you at?
Perkins!

5. Were you a party animal?
Not really, just hung out a lot

6. Were you in the “In Crowd”?
I got along with everybody

7. Ever skip school?
Nope

8. Ever smoke a cigarette?
Not in high school. I think I tried it in 8th grade and thought it was disgusting.

9. Were you a nerd?
No

10. Did you get suspened/expelled?
No

11. Can you sing the Alma Mater?
I don’t know if we even had one. Nan…did we have one????????

12. Who was your favorite teacher?
Even though she was sometimes difficult, I have to say I loved Ms. M. She taught me a lot. I also loved Mr. Ritter. I had him for Creative Writing and he was always one to challenge you and make you think.

13. Favorite class?
Senior year…all of them. I had a bunch of easy courses like Latin, Creative Writing, Trumpet (the newspaper, not the instrument), Early Childhood Development…if I had to pick, I’d say Creative Writing.

14. What was your school’s full name?
Parkland High School

15. School mascot?
Trojan

16. Did you go to Prom?
Nope

17. If you could go back and do it over, would you? Prom? Yes. I would have gone. The rest of it – no.

18. What do you remember most about graduation? Michelle Bogert telling me she was pregnant when we were standing in line to go in for the ceremony.

19. Favorite memory of your senior year? I have a lot…probably Creative Writing class, though. We had a great group and a lot of fun.

20. Were you ever posted up on the senior wall? I don’t know what that is…

21. Did you have a job your senior year? Yes, I worked at Dorney Park

22. Who did you date? No one during the school year…Andrew that summer

23. Where did you go most often for lunch? The lunch room or the Trumpet room

24. Have you gained weight since then? Um, yeah…! : (

25. What did you do after graduation? That night? Can’t remember. That summer I met & dated a guy from Scotland and then I went to Temple

So many people have said they are sick of the Olympics. American Idol is getting better ratings, which I guess is not that surprising.

I guess I am one of the faithful. I remember watching the Olympics growing up. It was a special event and I always looked forward to it. I still do today. I went out with a friend on the night of the opening ceremonies, but told her I wanted to be home to see the start. I’ve stayed up late many nights to watch and even taped some of the skating gala last night.

I wasn’t sure until Thursday night why the Olympics were so important to me. Sasha Cohen had skated very well on Tuesday night and American eyes were upon her to capture Olympic gold. But there were many naysayers…those who said she couldn’t do it, that she does well on a first performance and then not so well on the next (only they don’t say it as nicely as that). Apparently she had hurt herself in the near-perfect program on Tuesday and I watched her fall several times in her warmup. You could see in her eyes that she knew she would not be perfect that night but that she was determined to go out there and do the best she could. She skated to Romeo and Juliet and she did fall in the beginning. But she got back up and gave it her best. I thought one of the announcers summed it up best when she said, “Others skate to Romeo and Juliet. Sasha is Juliet.” You could see that she was truly enjoying the artistry of the choreography and that she had become Juliet. It was simply beautiful.

I started thinking more about it then. These athletes devote their entire lives to becoming perfect. They want to be the best in their sport. They want to win the gold at the Olympics. It is their dream; it becomes their lives. They give up so many other things in pursuit of this. And they work very, very hard at it. Even when it hurts, when they are injured, they rarely give up. They believe so strongly in their dreams and I admire that. How can you not? We are all gifted in different ways. We can’t all be Nobel Prize winners or leaders of great nations. But we can find something we enjoy and we are good at and work towards becoming great. Like these atheletes, we can put in the time, the energy and the tears for something we care about and believe in. We can stretch ourselves just that little bit farther than we thought possible for something we dream of achieving.

Think about it for a minute. What’s your dream?

There are a lot of things I hate about being a grown up.

1. Having to go to work every day
2. Not having summers off
3. Not being able to go play with my friends whenever I want
4. Cooking, cleaning, doing laundry…
5. Paying bills
6. Doing taxes

Tonight, my mind is on #6. I did my federal & state on Monday with TurboTax and now I am in local tax hell. The form doesn’t even make sense to me. And why can’t they do what the IRS does and be specific as to what goes in each box for mathematical morons like me? I’ve now tried twice to do this and am probably doing it wrong. But I want to get it done so I don’t have to keep looking at it each night and feeling like I should “work on it”.

Sigh.

10 mintues later…

Ok, so apparently all I had to do was vent about it and it all became clearer when I went back to it…yippee!!!!!!

…Audrey! Congratulations, Sarah & Joe!!

I went to visit them tonight and mom and baby are doing well. Audrey is a little princess and has Daddy wrapped around her tiny finger…as it should be. : )

As I said, my birthday was not a banner day. There were a lot of things that went on in the course of the day that were unusual and not terribly pleasant, but I won’t go into all of that. I had planned to come home and make myself something special for dinner (boy, that sounds pathetic as I write it!) and just relax but our pastor had asked me to come and meet with him instead. I didn’t want to say no because it was my birthday because I didn’t have any real plans to cite as my reason, so I said yes. But I had a bad feeling about it. It seemed odd that he wanted to meet with me the night before a regularly scheduled meeting we have. I spent a lot of time the night before mulling it over in my mind and just kept coming back to one particular idea…and the fact that it wasn’t good.

So, I came home, got some bad Chinese takeout and headed out to my meeting. I had some errands to run and since we were meeting in a bookstore’s coffee shop, I thought I would turn my bad day around by buying myself a book or two for my birthday. I did that and settled in to wait. When he arrived, I was even more certain that he was going to tell me something bad. When my friend’s husband who was also meeting with us arrived, he handed me a card from his wife and said he didn’t know what it was for but she had told him to give it to me. I said it was my birthday and the look on the pastor’s face told me again that the news wasn’t going to be good. He said he was sorry, if he had known it was my birthday he would have made the meeting for the day before instead.

To make a long story short, he’s leaving our church. He feels that he is being called to start (we call it “plant”) a new church in an area about an hour and half or so away. My friend’s husband and I sat in stunned silence. I had had a hunch that this was it but when it was said out loud, it was hard to take. Two years ago, our associate pastor, who was a very good friend and mentor to me, left. I was absolutely devastated. I went through all the stages of grieving their loss and when this announcement was made, all I could think was I can’t do this again. Then I immediately started to think of his kids and wife and how hard this must be on all of them. I truly believe that this decision was an exceptionally difficult one for them and that it isn’t one they would have chosen on their own. But sometimes God makes choices for us that we don’t understand and sometimes don’t like…but will ultimately see a reason for and good in. I think this is one of those situations.

I have run the emotional gamut since then. You honestly do go through the stages of grieving in a situation like this. Mostly, I’ve been angry, I’ve been depressed, I’ve felt abandoned. It was hard being one of the first to know, too. I kept trying to figure out how others would react and to steel myself to deal with whatever reactions came. The announcement was supposed to be made last Sunday but we got snowed out. We still had our leadership meeting that night and I’m glad for that. I am glad the leadership team heard the news first and was able to talk to people yesterday after the news was brought to the congregation. I know some people are completely shocked and overwhelmed by the news. It’s a lot to take in. He started this church from nothing almost nine years ago. He’s been the only pastor I’ve personally had in my life. He baptized me. He’s helped me through some huge challenges in ministry and helped direct me when I was getting off course personally. And I’m sure many others feel the same way about him as I do – and some have even more of a history and friendship with him than I do.

As part of the management team, I’ll be on the team that helps to select a new pastor. I’m glad to be involved in the process but have so many questions at this point. I just don’t know what to expect or what will be expected of me…I hope that I am up to the task. It is going to be a difficult few months, to say the least. If you are praying folk, please pray for me, our congregation, my pastor and his family…we will all need it.

I had my children’s ministry meeting yesterday right after the announcement was made and I was completely blown away by the outcome. Regardless of all of our personal feelings and the sense of loss and uncertainty, I really feel like we are all even more dedicated to caring for and serving the children of our church through this and beyond. I’m so thankful for the people I serve with and who are a part of this team. After dealing with the news myself for some time and seeing some of them come out shell-shocked yesterday, it was a total blessing to sit down and find us all still united in our mission. I know God was at work in that room and will be at work throughout this situation…and that gives me comfort.