Some Things Really ARE as Easy as They Seem

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I spoke to one of the professors from a local university last night.  Given my background, I would simply need to complete (and pass) 5 PRAXIS exams, petition the university to accept me into the Teacher Intern Certification program and I could be teaching by September – THIS September!  The caveat to this is that I would need to teach in an inner-city school for the three years that I am in the program but really, that doesn’t bother me.  He specifically recommended one that he said is nicer and more well-run than many suburban or rural schools.  And there is the option of a more local, smaller city school district, as well as one in the area where I grew up. 
 
It is possible that I could begin the exams as early as a month from now.  But I am not sure that that is what I want to do.  I feel like I should take some time and study a bit, since some of the concepts they may be testing me on may differ from my background in adult education.  I feel like I should look at some of the other universities and colleges who offer this program and see what their requirements are (I know the testing will be the same).  I feel like I should get my ducks in a row financially, as this most assuredly will amount to a major pay cut for me.  So while I am thrilled to death that this dream really is possible and could be so simple to achieve, I think I need to be a tad bit more practical in my approach to it.  I know there is a need for good teachers and I believe that need will be there next September as well.  The practical side of me says this is the right approach…but the excited, instant gratification part of me is feeling disappointed.

Taking the Proverbial Bull By the Horns

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Anyone who knows me is that I am not a terribly contemplative person.  I come up with an idea, think it through for a bit and leap.
 
Sometimes this gets me in trouble.  Other times, it’s proven to be good way to be.
 
I’ve send emails to a couple local colleges to inquire about their Teaching Intern Certification.  As far as I can tell, it looks like through this program, you can start teaching while taking courses to get your certification.  That description is surely more simplistic than reality…and of course there is the issue of funding…both for me and the courses!  Hmmm.  That’s the only “fear factor” I’m dealing with in this whole idea.
 
Anyway, in the meantime, I’ve also signed up to take an online course in pastoring children.  I’m hoping by doing that as well I can ascertain if I can handle juggling course work, work, church and life, without giving up too much.  I think I can, I think I can!  I was really excited to see that I already own one of the two books for this course but haven’t had a chance to get through it yet.  What a great opportunity.
 
I have to admit, I am somewhat of a geek when it comes to learning.  I absolutely love school – I love taking classes and learning.  For me, lifelong learning is very important.  And since getting my graduate degree in 2000, I haven’t taken any classes or really focused on learning anything new at all (except for things in relation to my job or my faith – and really, I have learned a lot in both areas during that time).  It’s really hard to express my excitement about both the course I am planning to take and also this potential for teaching in the long-term!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  But I am bubbling over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coincidence?

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I think not!
 
Yesterday, I emailed some friends asking them to pray about a career change I am considering and have started looking into.  That afternoon during lunch, my devotional was all about change – how to know when God is bringing change, when to make a midstream correction, etc.  It asked to focus a few questions to determine if you were running away from something or if, instead, it was time for a real change.  My answers all pointed toward time for a real change.
 
I have a Mary Engelbreit daily calendar on my desk and when I came in this morning and flipped over to today, the quote was, “A teacher affects eternity;  she can never know where her influence stops.”  (Henry Brooks Adams)  And teaching just happens to be the career I am looking into…!!!

Farewell, Old Friends

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Tonight was the series finale of 7th Heaven. I’ve watched that show since it began 10 years ago. It’s funny how you actually feel a little loss when a series ends – like the characters have been a part of your life for so long and now they will be gone. There was a lot of debate on whether the show would be picked up on the new CW (when UPN & WB fold and regroup into one) or if there would be a spinoff. So there were a lot of announcements but not a great deal of tying up of loose ends. I’m just glad I was able to actually relax tonight and watch it!!

I have about 80 million things I want to post but I have some reading to get through before Wednesday so I will bid adieu to you and you and you…for now

Ch-ch-changes…

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I went to a seminar last night for singles, presented by New Life

. I didn’t know what to expect but it was really awesome.  I would definitely recommend going if there is one near you!!  There were about a thousand people there from all different backgrounds and locations, some as far away as Massachussetts.  The speakers were excellent!  Steve Arterburn is a really funny guy and I thought that John Townsend & Henry Cloud were great as well.  They had a package where you could buy the speakers’ books and also get an audio CD of the seminar and I was all over that. 

 
There were quite a few things that stood out to me, as I am on the focused road towards life change…!!  The first speaker talking about healing.  And I have to be honest, I didn’t really feel like this would apply to me.  I thought it would speak to the people who have gone through a divorce or another similar sort of loss.  But really, there are always things in our lives that we need healing from, even when you’ve shoved them so far back in your subconscious you can’t rightly see what they are.  But he talked about making choices in your life – to connect, to feel, to risk.  And I realized that those things don’t just happen – you truly have to MAKE a choice.
 
Another speaker talked about ways we hide from love and connection.  He gave a few examples of different types of folks and I could see myself (and some others!) in the personality types.  Recognizing why you do the things you do and act as you do is a good first step to changing things…it seems to be the whole issue of reflection, followed by concerted effort?
 
Finally, Dr. Cloud talked about how to get a date worth keeping.  His book by that name is in my pile…and I thought it was all very interesting (I’m not giving it away – buy the book!!)  He told a funny story that I could totally relate to about a woman who wasn’t dating and who said that she was certain that if God wanted her to be married, he would bring her husband to her.  But she never really left the house or did anything (hmmmmmm…sounding eerily familiar).  So, as he pointed out, yes – God could bring you someone right to the front door.  He can.  But he might want some effort on your part as well…and perhaps God wants you to learn something about yourself by stepping out of your comfort zones and dating people.  The other important thing he mentioned was to date without the end in mind – not to look at each date as a first step to marriage – because many won’t be.
 
After the fateful date at the end of March and my spiral into feeling sorry for myself, I had commited that I would start putting myself out there more.  I am truly that person he gave as an example.  I go to work, do my church stuff, and that’s about it.  How in the world can you meet anyone that way?  Duh. 
 
The bottom line, though, is that it won’t be easy.  In fact, one of the women Dr. Cloud has worked with said the first two months were absolutely horrid and hard.  And she had to work through some things about herself to get to a place where she could actually have fun stepping out and meeting new people.  And two years later, she’s engaged – when she never thought that would happen for her.
 
And so, as I endeavor to dip my toe into the murky waters of change…I add this as well.

Time Keeps on Tickin’

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Indeed it does.
 
This week, while I’m still trying working on the physical margin, I’m also finding myself focusing a great deal on the time end of things.  I’m finding that when I try to wedge in activities that should otherwise be relaxing and fun, that really even those things are adding to my stress.  Which really seems ridiculous! 
 
Way back in the fall, I was very happy to have paired things down and freed myself up for at least two evenings a week, plus at least one or two weekend days.  But then some added responsibilities came up and suddenly I’m finding myself with nary a free moment again.  I have something going on every night this week and had three events on Saturday – two simultaneously in different places!!  I know what a toll this kind of schedule takes on me…I’ve been here before.  And so, this time, I’m determined a change must come.
 
Last night, I told my home group that I was in need of a hiatus, at least through the summer.  I really struggled with this all day but felt like I was doing my group a disservice by not being fully there for them – on Mondays or otherwise – because of my other responsibilities.  Everyone was great about it and very understanding (thanks, guys!) and made me feel like it was ok.  We’re not dissolving entirely and have planned some gatherings each month to keep up in touch and together, which I think is a great idea.  I feel like a great weight has been lifted from me.  I love these people too much to not give them the time & attention they deserve from a leader and I feel like right now, this is the best alternative. 
 
I also canceled out on one of my double-booked events.  I feel badly about it but I just can’t do it all. The book also suggested actually scheduling free time on your calendar.  Seems like a silly idea but sometimes that is all you can do to actually take that time for yourself.  And so it shall be!!

The Physical

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Before I go any further, I need to share with you the book of which I speak…Margin by Richard Swenson, MD

. I’m waiting for a couple other books on the topic by him as well…check out Amazon.com for his other titles if you are interested.

This week, I decide the thing I could most easily control and that would probably make the largest impact would be to focus on the physical energy. The extra sleep and rest last weekend made such a difference to me. I knew I was working at a deficit but I didn’t know how much of one!

The focus on the book on physical energy isn’t rocket science. But the author urges you to take personal responsibility for your health and to start making real changes in your habits. This is an area in which I have always struggled…partially do to my physical limitations and partially, really, due to laziness, I suppose. But it’s also the area I felt most ready to take responsibility for and to take action towards changing.

So, this week, I worked on:

Changing my diet. Eating smaller meals throughout the day. More healthy meals, infused with fruit and vegetables (gasp!). Cutting down on sugars and drinking more water.

Exercising. Although I didn’t have time for much this week, I did go for a walk one night and took a Tai Chi class. Both were really hard for me physically but I know that if I keep trying, things will get easier.

Sleep. I’m trying to get into a better routine of going to bed at a reasonable time (which, in reality, I’ve been working on for a few months, not just this week) but also getting up earlier so that I am not feeling stressed and rushed immediately after getting out of bed.

Not every day was a good day. I didn’t achieve my new goals all week. I ate well all day one day but felt overwhelmed by stress at work and went out for a milkshake. But, shockingly, the world didn’t end. And I just tried again.

I think that’s a big part of it. It’s so easy to catastrophize things and feel like you can’t succeed just because you aren’t perfect. Well, no one can be perfect – that’s for sure! And I think sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on. I’m really beginning to believe that that is how real change happens – not the idea of willpower but instead as an exercise of faith & diligence.

More to come…

Stirred, Not Shaken

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Apparently, I caused quite a stir with my post about change being in the offing. Besides my inherent busyness this week, I think I was also somewhat afraid to post and tell you all about the things I want/am trying to change because once I write them down, (a) you may find them quite boring and not worth the excitement & hype or (b) you might hold me to them…and what if I fail? But, then, sometimes there is success in just the trying.

Last weekend was excellent. I felt well-rested, content and at ease with myself and my surroundings. I felt encouraged and ready to institute some changes that could positively effect my life. Usually, my ideas come in a flurry and I feel like I have to do and change everything at one time. This time, for whatever reason, was different. I felt, that although I have many things I want to change, that I needed to approach this differently – in steps, maybe even babysteps. And not beat myself up when what I want to change does not miraculous change and stay changed immediately.

I stayed up Sunday night and read a book about this elusive “margin” that a friend had loaned me. I thought it would be difficult to read but I actually got through it pretty quickly. I thought I understood margin and my lack of it – that it was time without anything booked or double or triple booked into it. But really, the author describes it as “the amount allowed beyond that which is needed”. He also says that margin is the opposite of overload and breaks it down into three areas in addition to time: emotional energy, physical energy, and finances.

Honestly, all these things are out of kilter for me in one way or another. I’m sure that’s true for many of us but I truly believe that some people are more prone to lack of margin than others for various reasons – one of which may be personality, another of not being able to say “no”, yet another perhaps of finding that busyness does not allow for solitude that makes you ask yourself deeply personal questions and consider things in such a way that might make you upset or depressed…it’s easier to be busy and just not think.

My weekend made me really think about these things and this pervasive discontent I have felt for some time now. I don’t think I can pinpoint it’s origin or any such thing and if you asked me flat out, I don’t think I could tell exactly what I was discontent about. But I think it has something to do with the lack of margin…and so, my thoughts turn to change. To make things different, possibly to make things better. That would certainly be my hope!

And so I decided that this was the week…it was definitely time.

Baited Breath

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I know that y’all have been waiting to hear about the changes I mentioned…but you’ll have to wait a little longer!  I have been absolutely swamped at work this week and have had significant commitments each evening…but I promise a real update sometime this weekend!

And so it begins

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The big change, the big turnaround, the never looking back!

I’m not going to post all the details of my plan just yet. Some are already in the works while others are going to take some time. But change is the in offing.