I have been feeling irritable all week. I think there are several factors contributing to this but one primary one is that I feel like I spend a great deal of time doing and caring for others, and when I am unable to do that to the same level or degree as I once could (whether permanently or temporarily, I guess either really, because I think the current situation is somewhat temporary), people are annoyed and upset with me.

The past few days, I’ve been likening these people and this situation to the Israelites…God rescued them, gave them the best (and everything they needed) and yet they complained and turned their backs on him, creating idols to worship instead. The Lord calls them a stiff necked people and is angry with them, saying that his anger burns against them and he wants to destroy them.

I’m obviously not going to destroy anyone (!!) but I must confess feeling angry a great deal lately. But then I think about it. Am I really in a position to liken myself, to relate to the anger, of God? For pity’s sake. I think that it is really me who is stiff necked, who is forgetting what is important and real and worth it. Maybe I do need to be giving more to others than I have been able lately.

Part of it too, though, is that I am someone who needs a great deal of encouragement and I am not getting that on any front these days. I brought this up at lunch today and said just that. My friends said that everyone needed encouragement, it wasn’t that I was more needy in this area than anyone else. I’m not sure of that – I feel needy – but maybe that need is because I am not getting it? I just don’t know. I don’t think it is praise I am seeking…but sometimes I just need someone to say I am doing a good job, that what I am doing is truly enough, and right, and good.

Remember Bill the Cat? I feel like him right about now…

Work is crazy. I stayed late and am actually still working now from home but my energy is dwindling. I am hoping I can finish my current project – or at least sketch it out so I can finish it quickly in the morning with little fan fare.

This was the view from my hotel window. I thought it was so cool that the train went through this little park, over the pond…until the train blew its horn ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

I was in town for work but decided to take the opportunity to stay for the weekend and visit the world famous San Diego Zoo. It was really amazing and this was the best part:

I was actually choked up when I went through the panda area. They are so beautiful and the zoo does such a nice job taking care of them, replicating their habitat, etc. It just made me so happy to see them and be so close to them. I know – it sounds weird – but I am such an animal lover. Which brings me to this guy, below:

I don’t usually go to shows like this but I went because on a bus tour I took through the zoo first thing, they said they would have a wolf there…no wolf, but there was NORMAN. Yes, his name was Norman. And so I fell in love…and missed my own furry one.

This picture below was also a very neat experience. You could feed the giraffes biscuits. I came upon it too late and there was a terribly long line but I got some great pictures – they were up so close it was amazing. I have a great fondness for giraffes…and I was once blessed to see one born at the National Zoo in Washington.

After a looooooooooooong day at the zoo, I went back to my hotel room. I don’t know if I will ever make it back to San Diego (though I dearly hope I do!) and I really wanted to see the beach at Coronado. So even though I was exhausted, I got in a cab and went over. I made it right at sunset and it was simply beautiful.

It was a great trip. I was somewhat anxious for some reason this time but I just kept focused on the wonder of all I was seeing and I am so glad I did. It was one of those rare trips where you really feel IN the moment, every moment.

Can you guess where I was???????????????? I was trying to upload some photos to give you a hint but the system won’t let me do it…so I’ll give you instead a few words:

Palm trees
Sandy beaches
Sunny skies
Pandas

*Anyone know what song the post title is from? Hint: it’s from my “heavy metal” youth…

I feel like I have been dealing with this basement thing for far too long. I’ve been completely exhausted and was totally shocked to find some energy last night to finally make sure there was no water in the tubs with my Christmas decorations (there wasn’t) and tonight to move stuff around to make room for the rug to come back from drying on the trampoline (yes, you read that right!) at my dear friend’s house and for the new dryer to arrive. Yes, the dryer is dead. The repairman came and charged my $70 to tell me that. And would have charged me another $275 to fix it. So instead, a new one is on it’s way. I need to talk to the guys about getting some pallets or something to put it and the washer up on…and perhaps the freezer…in case of a future such event. Though, happily, the new sump is working well. I tested it by dumping water from the dehumidifier in it tonight when I was cleaning the last of the ruined stuff out and moving things around.

Now here I am, catching up on my bloglines and blog, and thinking of a million things I need to do this weekend, including my organizing project and some work I brought home. I completely lost all sensibility this afternoon and forgot several things I had said I would complete. I think I am just terribly tired and burned out at this point – oh, and on that, I sadly cancelled my June workcamp trip. I decided that I really needed that vacation time to relax and recharge. As much as I love workcamp (and am still going with the youth later in the summer), I just can’t do two whole weeks. I was in tears when I got off the phone with them, though they were so understanding and kind and said this would not affect my ability to serve with them again in the future. I was just sad because I really wanted to do it but my job is just very demanding and the thought of no days off after July through the end of the year made me very upset.

Well, I should get myself to bed. This weekend has many projects on tap:

*Get new tires
*Organize the bedroom closet
*Catch up on work projects
*Go to the library
*Do the church bulletins and inserts
*Prepare for Sunday school
*Get the carpet back and put back in place before the dryer comes
*Shampoo the carpets where the firemen’s sooty boots trod
*Organize my scrapbooking stuff
*and if time, finish last year’s workcamp scrapbook so I can show the kids at church!
*Watch two movies I have had FOREVER from Netflix
*Finish my current book and renew another
*Stock up on supplies for an upcoming trip
*SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!! which is where I am headed right now. G’night!

Tammy over at Family Doin’s was kind enough to let me partake of a random meme today – exactly what I need to get back in the bloggy swing!

1) If you could suddenly be transported into an old movie (as in 1965 or earlier) which movie would that be and why?

I would have to say It’s a Wonderful Life. It’s one of my very favorite films of all time. I would love to be there in the end, one of the people dumping my money into the fund to help George and seeing the joy on his face, knowing that so many love and care for him.

2)You’re given plane tickets and told that you can pick any place to fly to. The catch is that you have to go completely by yourself and stay a month. Where’s your destination?

I would fly to Maine and spend the month traveling up the coast, visiting lighthouses, reading and reflecting on the power of the sea and the beauty of God’s creation.

3)Name one favorite childhood friend…and a memory to go with it.

Jess was my best friend. We met when we were eight years old and I remember it very clearly – she came over to my friend Michelle’s house (she lived just around the corner) to see if we wanted to play. She and her brother (who just had a baby girl, by the way – congratulations, Matt & Skye!!!!!!!!!!!!!) had gum and they didn’t share – and I decided then and there that I didn’t like her. Thereby once again proving that my first impressions are generally always wrong!

4)Speaking of childhood, is there something special you have hung on to from this time…a toy… a stuffed animal…special book? If so, why is this item special to you?

My Huggie Bear. I’ve had him for 28 years. He is well-loved and worn, patches of fur rubbed off and holes in him, but he was a gift from my dad (I don’t recall if it was birthday or Christmas) and I have always loved and slept with him snuggled tightly with me.

And last but not least…
5)You have just been informed that a Duke and his wife from a foreign country that you’ve barely heard of are visiting the United States and have picked your house at random to stop in for tea. They will be arriving in fifteen minutes.

What are the first five things you frantically do:

Vacuum!
And try to get the cat hair off the furniture, which is no easy task.
Swish & swipe the bathroom and put out clean towels.
Frantically come up with a snack that would go with tea (and not be too common so as to offend said Duke)
Put the kettle on!!

That was fun! If you’d like to play, I’ll be happy to think up some random questions for you – just leave me a note in the comments!

I am left stunned and not understanding after hearing of this tragedy. Magazineman and his family just welcomed a new baby girl last week and now this. Please keep this family in your prayers.

I am completely exhausted. It was another busy week at work and my evenings have been consumed with basement issues. The washer works but the dryer appears to have bitten the dust. This makes me rather upset, because my renter’s insurance doesn’t cover flooding caused by water “that has hit the ground and come in the house that way” – yes, seriously, that is what I was told. I am going to try to get a repairman out here to look at it but my thought is the motor is burned out. I don’t really have the funds to buy a new appliance right now and am not sure what my landlord will do, if anything. I guess I’ll wait to see what the repairman’s verdict is before fretting over this.

This week has really shown me that people do truly care about me and even crazy things like this. And that means so much to me! Three of my girlfriends from church came over Tuesday to help take stuff out and rangle the sopping carpet up off the ground. I can’t even begin to say how much I appreciated that. I was totally at a loss as to what to do or where to begin. To a degree, I still am – there is still much to do down there – but I am so much further than I was then.

Then came last night’s adventure. I knew I needed gas but I had to take the car to be inspected and was late for work. I rushed to the dealer, got a loaner and headed out to work. Afterwards, I needed to pick the car up, run home and then meet my girlfriend and her kids at Chuck E. Cheese for her daughter’s birthday. I was very very low on gas, so I drove out of my way to gas station I knew to be the least expensive in the area. There were lines everywhere. I pulled in to the pump…and the fuel door would not open. I pulled the latch about 40 times. I tried wedging my credit card in the door and pulling the latch. A nice guy tried pulling on it while I pulled the lever.

Nada.

I was embarassed and frustrated and knew the others in line were frustrated with me, so I got back in the car and took off, praying I could make it to Chuck E. Cheese and my friend could help.

I made it. We partied with Chuck E. for a bit and then we loaded the kids up and searched the minivan for tools. Luckily, we found some needle-nose pliers. I wedged them in the door and she held it and pulled while I pulled the lever.

Success at last!!!!!!!!!! I drove quickly to the gas station with the fuel door flapping in the wind and filled up.

I did close it, however…so we’ll see if it works next time!

Always an adventure, my life is.