31 Silver Linings – A Writing Challenge {Day 5}

Today is the second anniversary of my move.  I looked back to last year’s blog entry and found that, frankly, not much has changed.  But I think in many ways, I have.  While I know some of the changes are for the good, the rest likely remain to be seen.

I’ve cried immeasurable tears over the past two years.  I have come to understand that homesickness, missing your people, missing all that is safe and familiar, can be a physical ache.  I’ve not been able to reconcile, in all this time, how to be away from those I love when they need me…or when I need them – and I don’t know that I can or ever will.  My bed, broken in the move, missing a piece, remains broken.  It’s become almost a metaphor, really.

When I thought about what to write about in the #write31days challenge, it seemed right that I focus on silver linings.  I’ve always been the type to hold onto hope but the last two years have been a true exercise in reframing and refocusing, on finding the silver linings scattered throughout.  And so for the last few days, as the anniversary approached, I thought hard about which I could share:

I’ve learned how to be alone.  That, for me, has been incredibly difficult and I’ve struggled so much with loneliness here.  But I’ve come to understand the value of downtime, of solitude, of the unhurried seasons of life.

I’ve become less impulsive – more reflective, more thoughtful – especially when it comes to big decisions or things about which I don’t feel at peace.  I’ve always trusted my intuition but I’ve come to respect it as well.

I’ve learned more definitively who in my life I can most rely on, who will stand by me no matter what, and who will always, always, always answer when I call.

And no matter what, it is still beautiful here.