Tonight was the series finale of 7th Heaven. I’ve watched that show since it began 10 years ago. It’s funny how you actually feel a little loss when a series ends – like the characters have been a part of your life for so long and now they will be gone. There was a lot of debate on whether the show would be picked up on the new CW (when UPN & WB fold and regroup into one) or if there would be a spinoff. So there were a lot of announcements but not a great deal of tying up of loose ends. I’m just glad I was able to actually relax tonight and watch it!!

I have about 80 million things I want to post but I have some reading to get through before Wednesday so I will bid adieu to you and you and you…for now

Before I go any further, I need to share with you the book of which I speak…Margin by Richard Swenson, MD

. I’m waiting for a couple other books on the topic by him as well…check out Amazon.com for his other titles if you are interested.

This week, I decide the thing I could most easily control and that would probably make the largest impact would be to focus on the physical energy. The extra sleep and rest last weekend made such a difference to me. I knew I was working at a deficit but I didn’t know how much of one!

The focus on the book on physical energy isn’t rocket science. But the author urges you to take personal responsibility for your health and to start making real changes in your habits. This is an area in which I have always struggled…partially do to my physical limitations and partially, really, due to laziness, I suppose. But it’s also the area I felt most ready to take responsibility for and to take action towards changing.

So, this week, I worked on:

Changing my diet. Eating smaller meals throughout the day. More healthy meals, infused with fruit and vegetables (gasp!). Cutting down on sugars and drinking more water.

Exercising. Although I didn’t have time for much this week, I did go for a walk one night and took a Tai Chi class. Both were really hard for me physically but I know that if I keep trying, things will get easier.

Sleep. I’m trying to get into a better routine of going to bed at a reasonable time (which, in reality, I’ve been working on for a few months, not just this week) but also getting up earlier so that I am not feeling stressed and rushed immediately after getting out of bed.

Not every day was a good day. I didn’t achieve my new goals all week. I ate well all day one day but felt overwhelmed by stress at work and went out for a milkshake. But, shockingly, the world didn’t end. And I just tried again.

I think that’s a big part of it. It’s so easy to catastrophize things and feel like you can’t succeed just because you aren’t perfect. Well, no one can be perfect – that’s for sure! And I think sometimes you just have to keep on keeping on. I’m really beginning to believe that that is how real change happens – not the idea of willpower but instead as an exercise of faith & diligence.

More to come…

Apparently, I caused quite a stir with my post about change being in the offing. Besides my inherent busyness this week, I think I was also somewhat afraid to post and tell you all about the things I want/am trying to change because once I write them down, (a) you may find them quite boring and not worth the excitement & hype or (b) you might hold me to them…and what if I fail? But, then, sometimes there is success in just the trying.

Last weekend was excellent. I felt well-rested, content and at ease with myself and my surroundings. I felt encouraged and ready to institute some changes that could positively effect my life. Usually, my ideas come in a flurry and I feel like I have to do and change everything at one time. This time, for whatever reason, was different. I felt, that although I have many things I want to change, that I needed to approach this differently – in steps, maybe even babysteps. And not beat myself up when what I want to change does not miraculous change and stay changed immediately.

I stayed up Sunday night and read a book about this elusive “margin” that a friend had loaned me. I thought it would be difficult to read but I actually got through it pretty quickly. I thought I understood margin and my lack of it – that it was time without anything booked or double or triple booked into it. But really, the author describes it as “the amount allowed beyond that which is needed”. He also says that margin is the opposite of overload and breaks it down into three areas in addition to time: emotional energy, physical energy, and finances.

Honestly, all these things are out of kilter for me in one way or another. I’m sure that’s true for many of us but I truly believe that some people are more prone to lack of margin than others for various reasons – one of which may be personality, another of not being able to say “no”, yet another perhaps of finding that busyness does not allow for solitude that makes you ask yourself deeply personal questions and consider things in such a way that might make you upset or depressed…it’s easier to be busy and just not think.

My weekend made me really think about these things and this pervasive discontent I have felt for some time now. I don’t think I can pinpoint it’s origin or any such thing and if you asked me flat out, I don’t think I could tell exactly what I was discontent about. But I think it has something to do with the lack of margin…and so, my thoughts turn to change. To make things different, possibly to make things better. That would certainly be my hope!

And so I decided that this was the week…it was definitely time.

I know that y’all have been waiting to hear about the changes I mentioned…but you’ll have to wait a little longer!  I have been absolutely swamped at work this week and have had significant commitments each evening…but I promise a real update sometime this weekend!

The big change, the big turnaround, the never looking back!

I’m not going to post all the details of my plan just yet. Some are already in the works while others are going to take some time. But change is the in offing.

…and I ain’t referring to the movie. (Didn’t like that movie, either. Not one bit.)

I took the day off yesterday to get some freelance work done in anticipation of going to visit friends overnight tonight. I slept in a little bit, got up and fed the starving felines and went back to bed until…gasp…11 AM. And proceeded to get so much done yesterday, it was astounding – and I don’t only mean freelance work. I was like a powerhouse. I did laundry, I packed up books to give away, I moved things and organized things and just generally took care of things that had been languishing and driving my organized little mind insane every time I looked at them. My friend called and said that they had been down with the stomach flu all week and I quickly decided to pass on our visit. So today, much a repeat of yesterday…including the getting back in bed & sleeping until 11 thing. More freelance work, more cleaning & organizing. Amazing.

I know it all sounds simple and probably quite silly to some of you that I am so happy about all this but frankly, I can’t remember the last time I felt well enough to do so much and not end up crashed out on the couch at midday. I really think my body is craving the extra sleep wildly. It’s quite crazy, since I have been getting to bed by 10 or 11 each night and truthly don’t extract my butt from the bed until nearly 7:30…and really that should be enough sleep for any normal soul. But apparently not for me. I feel like I am always working at a deficit in terms of sleep and so many other things.

A while back, some of the ladies and I were doing a discipleship study and came upon a section that talked of “margin” and the need to have it in your life. We are constantly on the go, running here, there & everywhere for this and that and who knows what, and all the while leaving nothing – no time, I suppose – up for grabs. It’s bad. That’s all I can say, having no margin is bad.

This weekend, I found a little bit of margin and little bit of my self. I realized that I have to start making some changes in my life right away. Some may be easy, while many will take more work on my part. I need to work on my life, my health, my spirit. ‘Cuz something’s gotta give…