Last night, I was caught off guard – by a situation I was trying to convince myself and others I certainly did not care about. A loneliness and sadness over a lost friendship…that just got me sobbing. I have prayed for reconciliation in this situation, for things to return as they were, for this person to put aside what has caused this rift. And today in reading one of my favorite blogs, God gave me a word – a word I desperately needed: Scratchin’ the Surface: Max Knows and So Does God
Uncategorized
Three Things
I may have done this meme before…so if so, bear with me. Maybe you’ll learn something new!
Some Facts About Me:
Three names you go by?
Trish
Dish
T
Three physical things you like about yourself?
my eyes
my hands
my hair color : )
Three parts of your heritage?
irish
english
welsh
Three things you can’t stand?
fake people
mean people
chaos
Three things that scare you?
fires
tornados
other things I cannot control
Three of your favorite shows?Scott Baio is 45…
Private Practice (I think…still new but I liked the pilot & really liked the episode tonight)
The Today Show (I really struggled with this one but I watch it every morning, really enjoy the hosts…and frankly I am a news junkie)
Three movies you watch over and over again?
You’ve Got Mail
Sleepless in Seattle
Serendipity (or any other John Cusack romance, really)
Three movies you would like to watch?
Flywheel
Feast of Love (going this weekend!)
The Queen
Three of your everyday essentials?
cell phone
email
a good book (and THE good book!)
Three things you want in a relationship?
respect
love
laughter
Three physical things about the opposite gender that appeals to you?
smile
hands
shoulders
Three bad habits?
Saying yes to everything
Not writing things on my calendar & then double, triple or quadruple booking myself
Leaving the wash sit in the washer (or dryer) until it has to be rewashed
Three career you’re currently considering pursuing?
Full time youth ministry
Teaching
Lady of Leisure
Three of your favorite hobbies?
scrapbooking
photography
reading
Three places you want to go on vacation?
Hawaii
Bermuda or Jamaica…somewhere with blue water and white sandy beaches
Ireland
Three kids name you like?
Aidan
Grace
Lily
Three things you want to do before you die?
Travel to the places listed above
Marry my prince charming
Have a family
Three things that stereotypically prove you’re a girl?
I hate spiders & bugs
I don’t like to get dirty
I like to get my hair done
Can’t Keep Up
I love fall. The change of seasons, the slight chill in the air, the leaves turning beautiful colors, the sun setting earlier…and the routine. I always loved school – waiting impatiently for summer to end so I could get back to my friends, my books, my routine.
I still crave the routine fall brings. And I feel like I am almost there. We started youth officially tonight and next week my evening Bible study for women begins. Those are my two weekly evening commitments and I am eager to be started with both and get into my fall routine.
But I am still left today feeling like I can’t keep up. I don’t know how people with families do it. The wash and dishes here are neverending. Something is always in need of being dusted, wiped or vaccumed around here – not to mention the care and feeding of the furries. I know I should not be complaining but I am just so weary. I know that this is not unique, that people have this but more and it probably seems silly for me even to be saying this. I guess part of it is that the burden of all things in my life falls squarely on my shoulders and sometimes the weight is too much to bear.
I will say that my little list from the other evening is coming along ok so far.
*My alarm is waking me up a half hour earlier. Monday I jumped out of bed and got some things done before work, which was terrific. The rest of the week, I had trouble getting up but at least was awake.
*I have brought my lunch each day this week so far – but tomorrow I am offsite during the lunch hour. I imagine I might get lunch there, so technically I won’t be buying my lunch, so that is helpful.
*I am going to work on my running list tonight before I go to bed. I need to have it somewhere handy so I can have the satisfaction of crossing things off.
*I haven’t started my study (next week!) and haven’t endeavoured to start the decluttering. I did clean this week, though, because the landlord was coming – so that must count for something, right?
Why I Do Youth Ministry
So much for posting more often!
As usual, my life has been a whirlwind. Nothing too exciting is happening and some things that have been taking up a lot of my time and energy I can’t post about.
I said to my friend at work the other day that I want my life to be different. There are many things I am really content and happy with in my life – I am blessed, and I know it. But there are some other things – two in particular – that seem beyond my control and I get frustrated by my seeming lack of ability to change them. I am trying little things to try to make a difference in these areas of my life but then another problem arises and I am again discouraged. I know that things take time and I may need to start trying to just change small (very small) things one at a time and be patient.
Patience is not my thing.
So for now, here are a few things I want to try to do. Now that fall is upon us and a routine will be returning to my life (youth, Bible study, etc.), I feel like it is a good time to start implementing change. These things may sound stupid or minor to some but this list is frankly not for them! So bear with me, my loyal two or three…
*Start bringing my lunch to work four days a week
*Get up a half hour earlier each weekday
*Sort through some clutter that is affecting me more than it should by its sheer presence
*Work on my Bible study a little bit each and every day (we are doing The Beloved Disciple by Beth Moore – I can’t wait to begin!)
*Keep a running to do list out somewhere I can see it and make sure I am accomplishing the things I need to
So that is all for now…nothing much more to say or report tonight. It has been a long weekend – mostly a good one – and I need to get to bed early so I can try to get my attitude adjusted for the week ahead.
It’s a Combination of Things Really…
This post will be very random…there is much on my mind, yet it is all sort of disjointed, so you’ll need to bear with me here.
*The pathology came back and my friend’s daughter’s cyst was benign. Hallelujah! She is definitely on the mend. She looks good, is getting around better and is getting off the heavy-duty pain meds.
*I just got back from a weekend in Rhode Island. Michelle & I took a bus trip to see Beth Moore. She was wonderful and it was an amazing time of teaching. Saturday afternoon, we took a mansion tour in Newport. The Breakers was amazing; Roseclif, not so much. I was kind of irritated that the place did not have any of the original furniture, etc. Plus they were rushing us because they had a wedding coming in 10 minutes. Then off to the Brick Market, which also did not impress us. What MOST did not impress us was the temperature dropping and the mist rolling in from the sea. We were walking around, not dressed appropriately for this sudden change in weather, just WET. I walked under a tree and swore it was raining but when I stepped out, it was not. Apparently the mist was so thick that when it came in contact with the leaves, it just ran off like rain. Interesting…but not very pleasant.
*My neck is killing me. I was fine yesterday morning but when I got to work and throughout the day it got progressively worse. I plastered myself with thermacare heat wraps and took heavy duty pain meds but that just served to make me loopy, not take away the pain. This morning I thought I was on the mend but am getting progressively worse again throughout the day. This is painful and irritating. It also makes driving a challenge when you can’t even turn your head for wanting to cry. Someone at work recommended a place that does massages and they are fitting me in at 2:30 for a 15 minute chair massage. I can’t really afford it but frankly I will do anything to try to relieve this pain.
*Kittyzilla survived her first boarding experience. When I arrived to pick her up, the vet tech told me I would have to get her out of the cage myself. I knew that meant it did not go well! Her cage was plastered with brightly colored signs saying, “CAUTION: AGGRESSIVE”, “CAUTION: LUNGES” (which I found somewhat amusing) and other various things. Upon seeing me, however, her demeanor completely changed to the kind and loving kitty I know. We bid them adieu and hightailed it home and now all is right with her kitty world.
*I can’t recall if I posted that we have a new pastor. I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am that the search is over. This was a ROUGH one and I shan’t participate in a such a thing again. Now the problem is that he has to complete something before beginning and we had thought that it would be completed in time for him to start this weekend. No dice…but I am working on.
*My youth are homeless again. It is amazingly difficult to find somewhere for a youth group to meet every week when you don’t have a building. I have one last plan in the works but if that doesn’t work out, I haven’t a clue what I will do. And youth group starts next week!
*I went to see Becoming Jane last night with two of my youth & their mom (my friend). It was good but sad. I knew the ending was not happy, of course, going in but it was still sad.
*I have another two movies from Netflix that I have probably had three months. Which is so ridiculous! I can’t find time in my life to watch a freaking movie??? That’s not entirely true. I often make conscious decisions to do other things like read or watch CNN or something along those lines. So it is more that I don’t choose to make the time.
That’s all the randomness I can take for now. Ta ta!
Kittyzilla
…needs to be boarded next time I venture away. She will be one unhappy kittyzilla. But the vet has a good point – even if she is ornery and they can’t give her the insulin either, they can at least be monitoring her and take care of her if anything goes awry because of the lack of insulin…which would not be the case at home.
The good news is it is not that terribly much more than the petsitting. Slightly more for short trips but less for long (if that makes sense).
Tell God Your Plans so He Can Have a Laugh…
…or something like that.
Well, I did get to see HSM2 with my youth group girls but one was conspicuously absent. She was rushed to children’s hospital earlier in the day with a cyst on her ovary as large as a nerf football. They operated on Saturday to remove it and she is now home recuperating. If you are of the praying persuasion, please pray for her healing and for the pathology report on the cyst to come back as benign.
Last night, Trish took me to see Wicked for my birthday (yes, my birthday was in February…but Wicked was in August!!) It was absolutely amazing. I loved it. I’m so glad we went! But I didn’t get home until after midnight and now today I am just dragging. I feel like I have been mentally & physically exhausted for weeks on end now…with no real end in sight!
And in the continuing saga of kittyzilla…Monday night, the last remaining petsitter came over to meet us. She sat with Ramona, pet her, gave her treats and gave her her insulin – no problem. I asked her to please come last night while I was at the show and try again. She called me and said the kittyzilla had lost her mind, would not let her near her and basically wanted to bite her face off. So, no petsitting for kittyzilla. And this leaves me in a quandary. I know she will be absolutely MORE ridiculous if she is boarded at the vet office when I travel. I have a call into them right now to see how long she can go without her insulin until it causes her distress. I know that sounds horrible but she is so terribly upset when anyone but me tries to touch her, it really doesn’t seem fair to her to put her through that. We’ll see what the vet says and I will take whatever advice they give me.
Sigh.
Friday Feast
Appetizer
Describe your laundry routine. Do you have a certain day when you do it all, or do you just wash whatever you need for the next day?
Oh, the laundry. It is the neverending bane of my existence. I have no routine other than when I am running out of clothes for work, I desperately need to do it. But I am bad about it, distracted by other things and comings and goings, etc. so sometimes it sits in the washer and dryer until it needs to be redone.
Soup
In your opinion, what age will you be when you’ll consider yourself to truly be old?
100. Until then, I think I will keep in my mind that I am truly 20! That’s how I feel most of the time now, barring my lapses when pain overtakes me and my body feels like I’m 100.
Salad
What is one of your goals? Is it short-term, long-term, or both?
I don’t set a lot of long-term goals for myself. I know that seems odd but I think it has always been that way. Perhaps a secret small part of me knows that my goals are not my own – just as my time and my life are not. They belong to God and he changes my path as he sees fit.
I’m probably being more philosophical about this question than it really intended…so perhaps one goal, going back to a comment I made yesterday, is to lose some weight!
Main Course
Name something unbelievable you’ve seen or read lately.
I have a few unbelievable email correspondences lately…but I will keep the details of those to myself for now!
Dessert
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how happy are you today?
There is a definite difference between happiness & joy. On the joy scale, I’d say about a 9 (joyful about Betsy’s baby on the way, joyful to be getting together with my girls tonight, joyful that it is the weekend). On the happiness scale, more like a 4 frankly.
Thirteen Feelings of the Day
Oh, yes…my mood runs the gamut!
- Frustrated…because I can’t seem to connect with the new petsitter. She was supposed to come over tonight – after about two week of phone tag – to meet Ramona and see if Ramona will tolerate her. I hadn’t heard from her by 7:30 so I called and she just called me back now to say she was somewhere else and time got away from her. I know stuff comes up, but I need to get this situation resolved. Now she is not coming until Monday, which also frustrates me. I can’t believe that it is this hard to coordinate our schedules. A friend at work told me about another petsitting service but I really like this one. I don’t know what to do.
- Excited…because my dear friend at work will soon be having her first baby, a girl. I stopped by her house tonight on the way to the dr and she is looking very well. All signs are pointing to a baby sometime tomorrow or over the weekend.
- Irritated…because of a situation in my life that continues to be chaotic, despite my herculean efforts.
- Happy…that I will get to see my youth group girls tomorrow night to watch High School Musical 2. It was very cool that they invited me!!
- Weary…of the neverending wash and household chores – on top of my other to do’s. It is maddening.
- Worried…about the health of one of my girls. She has not been well since workcamp and has been having some really weird symptoms.
- Eager…to start youth group again for the fall. We put together a really great schedule and are getting a pretty cool new curriculum.
- Hopeful…that this will be the year that our youth grow closer to each other and to Christ.
- Sad…that I may have to board Ramona for my next trip. I really, really don’t want to do that but I don’t seem to have any other options.
- Angry…at myself for not handling the chaotic situation better.
- Concerned…about my continuing financial struggles. It is really maddening and I’m not sure what the answer is. I keep thinking a part-time job may be the only answer but how in the world can I take that on on top of my full-time gig and church responsibilities?
- Forgetful…even though I have been talking and thinking about the situation with Ramona all night, I forgot to give her her shot. I’ve got to go do that right now.
- Disappointed…in myself for not taking better care of myself. When I got on the scale for my drs appt, I wanted to run away and hide. I know that I use food for comfort and I need to break that habit. I also need to start exercising – even just a little bit. I can’t go on like this. It is not good for my health or my psyche. There’s more to be said on this topic but since I am trying to write more often, I shall leave that for another post.
So Here's the Thing 