Do Over

Remember when you were a kid playing kickball and you’d miss the ball? Immediately, before you even had a second thought, you’d holler, “DO OVER!” so as not to lose out on your turn…or simply lose. For the most part, no one balked; they knew they’d need one themselves soon or later  – and knew you’d let them have it.

In real life, though, do overs are few and far between. Yet I feel like this summer has been a do over for me. I’ve moved back to the area where I grew up, after a long time away. I focused a lot of energy on making up for lost time (and lost fun from my two summers in Virginia), and on reestablishing relationships…and making new ones.

It’s funny how you work so diligently to change and grow but yet find yourself falling right back into old patterns, fears and insecurities so easily. It’s a battle to relearn how to open the heart and trust; to remember that the outcomes of the past don’t have to dictate today’s.

It’s hard and beautiful, all at the same time…and I’m going to bet, like most things that are, it will be worth it in the end.

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