I missed an important meeting this morning. It was something for which I’ve been waiting weeks because of bureaucratic red tape. I’m even the one who scheduled it but I put it into my calendar wrong and didn’t realize I had forgotten about it until I dawdled my way into work late today.
I was already overtired and lamenting that I hadn’t decided to take today and tomorrow off in anticipation of the Thanksgiving holiday, but this threw me for a loop. I made profuse apologies all around and was eventually able to reschedule my portion of the meeting for later today. But all the while, my negative inner dialogue was in overdrive. I won’t write all the things that went through my mind here because I refuse to give them any more power.
Those who know truly know me know that I am not an optimist by nature…or by nurture. I have to work very hard to find the silver linings in things and to encourage others to do the same. And when I say that, I mean that it is truly WORK. My immediate go-to is negativity and I have learned to be exceptionally intentional in my efforts to minimize that and turn it around. This is not to say, by any means, that I’m never negative. I mean, come on. (And I call “pants on fire” to anyone who claims to never fall prey to the negative or who never admits it out loud. But that issue is for another post! I am also fond of snark (also a post for another time) but I don’t think that falls into quite the same category.) Over the years, I’ve learned to more quickly identify the spiral when it starts and I’ve found, often, that if I can recognize it, BREATHE, and look at the situation in light of what I can DO, it can make a world of difference in how I handle things. I am thankful that just because it’s my default, it doesn’t need to define me.
I won’t say my outlook did a complete180 today. It didn’t. But I was able to get past my own “stuff” and move on. And now I’ve got to run – can’t be late for the rescheduled meeting!