Settling

It’s hard to believe that I have been here for a month already.  In some ways, so much has happened and yet, at the same time, it feels like so little.  But isn’t that how life is?

I’ll be honest.  I am trying to stay positive and make sure to keep an optimistic outlook but this week was hard.  For some reason, I was hit with a deep homesickness.  In the past three weeks, some of my closest friends have faced (and are facing) some really serious challenges in their lives.  And if you know me in real life, you know that it’s really important to me to be there and to help in whatever way I can.  But that is hard to do from a distance, though I’m doing my best.

I joined a women’s Bible study from one of the churches I’ve visited and we’re studying the book of Nehemiah.  For those of you who haven’t a clue who Nehemiah was or need a refresher, here’s the gist:  Nehemiah worked for the king and had a pretty sweet gig.  But then some family and friends came to see him and told him things were very bad in his hometown of Jerusalem, and his people were struggling.  His heart was broken to hear this and he decided that he had to take action.  He went to the king, who was not favorable toward Jerusalem, and told him what he wanted to do and asked for his help.  Because of their relationship, the king let him go and said he could have the assistance he requested.  So Nehemiah goes home to help rebuild the wall around Jerusalem…and the lives of those he cares about.

My point in telling you this is two-fold.  First, the point of the study is to find out what breaks our hearts and then to take some kind of action, just as Nehemiah did.  I know that my heart breaks for students…and I started to write, “especially those who are struggling”, but really, aren’t most?  It is so difficult to grow up in today’s world…but that is a post for another time.  (And for the record, there are MANY things that break my heart but that is the area in which I feel most passionate.)

Second, last night in our group, one of the questions is what needs to be rebuilt in your life.  I almost laughed out loud.  My WHOLE life is being rebuilt.  And I know intellectually that it will be hard for a while and it won’t happen overnight.  But dear goodness, it would be nice if it would speed up a bit!  All I can do is just keep putting myself out there, doing things, trying things, and taking opportunities to meet people.  It would be so easy to settle:   keep to myself, read books, do my thing, and look forward to opportunities to go “home”…but that’s not why I’m here.

Stay tuned.

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