First, let me report that today I walked 9232 steps during my 12 1/2 hour day.  I know I walked more than that yesterday.  Anyway, I just googled it and learned that 2000 average steps equals one mile.  So I walked over 4 miles today.  Not bad for a gal who never does any exercise.  By the time we are finished, maybe I will be on the road to better shape…?
I am feeling very blue tonight.  It just feels like nothing is working out for me lately – the teaching thing first and now the househunt.  I had gotten some quotes from an online lendor service that led me to believe I could actually afford a house.  I’ve been looking and found the development in which I want to live based on everything I’ve seen.  In the meantime, my realtor put me in touch with a local lendor who has given me very different numbers…and basically has put buying anything of any value (to me, this is in terms of a good location and good condition so I won’t have any work to do immediately upon moving in) completely out of my reach.
I am just feeling very discouraged in many areas of my life right now.  I know it doesn’t help that I am terribly exhausted – that is never a good contributing factor for me and usually just ends with me in tears.  I just want things to be different… and I don’t understand why they are not.  It goes back to the scripture I quoted here when I told you all that the teaching thing was not going to be a possiblity for me…”hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life”.  My heart is sick right now…I know that God laughs at our plans and his plans & thoughts are not our own.  His timing isn’t either.  And maybe he has something great in store.  But I’m feeling a little lost and alone out here at the moment when I keep finding my dreams unable to be fulfilled.  : (

5 thoughts on “Bluuuuuuuuuuue

  1. Don't forget, my planner, schedule-it-all-out friend, that there is joy in the journey with Jesus! Daily loving Him and growing in faith as He leads you to the dreams He has for you. Remember, “they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk not faint.” I'm praying for you to be strengthened for all your walking today! 🙂

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